8 Ways To Warm Up Your Long-Term Relationship When It Gets Cold and Boring

Long-Term Relationship

There?s no such thing as a perfect relationship when every single day feels different and a little more special than yesterday. Even couples who regard themselves as each other?s soulmates can have dull moments too. If you?re in a long-term relationship, you?d be lying if you say that you?ve never felt bored with your partner. You might even have questioned your love for your partner at some point. 

But the fact that you?re still together for years and you don?t see yourself loving anyone but your partner in the next few decades just proves that your love is strong. Getting bored, in fact, is just a normal phase of all long-term relationships. It?s not something to worry about, but it?s a good thing you noticed. 

Once you realize that things are getting cold, repetitive, and dull, it?s vital for couples to exert an effort to make things fun and exciting again. While being ?at home? with each other is good, you need to remember that relationships still require normal maintenance to make it work. 

We list down 8 simple things you and your partner can do to make your relationship more fun again. You may even seek online couples counselling to know how you can improve your relationship from a psychological standpoint.?

1. Tell your partner what?s up

The first thing to do is to let your partner know how you feel ? in a nice, caring, and sweet way. Don?t open it up in the middle of a fight, or it can spark a bigger fight. Instead, communicate it when you?re both relaxed. Try to make it into a fun conversation about doing something new and exciting rather than a rant. 

2. Kill routines and be spontaneous

Maybe you?re not bored with your partner ? you?re just sick of your routine, which begins and ends the same way. Do you have a predictable routine, like hustle weekdays, dinner date Fridays, Netflix Saturdays, and church Sundays? Switch it up and bring back the spontaneity. 

Instead of celebrating the end of the workweek every Friday night, why not have a dinner date at a new restaurant on a Wednesday? Or travel somewhere new yet under the radar on a Saturday? Or how about not having a plan at all and decide the last minute where to go and what to do? 

3. Make an extra effort

When was the last time you gave your partner a gift? Or surprised him or her at work with a box of chocolates? Or cooked something extraordinary for them and then decorated the bedroom with rose petals and scented candles? Bring back the amount of effort you made in the beginning. Never stop making your partner feel special even if you?re already comfortable with each other.

4. Prioritize date nights and travels?

We know it?s not practical to have date nights when there?s food at home or travel out of town when there are bills to pay. But if you want to save your cold relationship, you?ve got to make these special moments a priority. Save money and file vacation leaves if you must. 

Date nights and travels may also mean setting up a candlelit dinner in your backyard and going on a ?staycation? in a nearby town. The important thing is you?re able to reconnect, create memories, and remember that you’re still totally in love with each other.

5. Seek a change of scenery

Again, break routines. Allow yourselves to experience places and scenes that are far from home, work, and other familiar locations. It doesn?t have to be an expensive trip out of town, though traveling is very much recommended. It can be a day trip to a local museum and art gallery, a lunch date at a restaurant in a different city, or an overnight stay in a hotel with stunning views. 

According to relationship expert Miyoko Rifkin, changing your environment helps create new emotional responses to your partner, instead of triggering old undesirable ones,

6. Don?t forget small, warm, romantic gestures

Snuggle on the couch. Hold hands while watching a movie. Give them random hugs and kisses. Surprise them with a hearty breakfast in bed. Give them a massage. Compliment them. Flirt and court each other

Even the smallest romantic gestures can make a huge impact on your partner?s day, and help put a spark back into your relationship. 

7. Try something new in bed

As the years pass, even sex, which is meant to warm you up, can feel cold and stale. Know that it?s normal and it?s fixable. All it takes is to do something you haven?t tried before. Try some sex toys. Change positions. Have sex in unexpected areas in your home. Wear costumes. Act out your fantasies. You can even consult a sex and relationship expert for suggestions on how to get each other satisfied.

8. Learn each other?s hobbies?

Okay so you?re a good artist and you use your free time for painting or making handicrafts. Your partner is someone who?s into computers,  tech stuff, and video games. Like you, he?s busy in his messy station every Saturday. You don?t get each other?s expertise, so you leave each other alone and then meet when dinner?s ready. But have you ever considered entering each other?s worlds? 

Learning each other?s hobbies and interests not only promotes bonding ? it can also help you reconnect with each other on a deeper level. 

Author Bio: Carmina Natividad is one of the writers for Relationship Room Couples Counseling, a couples psychology institution specializing in relationship counseling and therapies for couples and families.

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