Being a mother is a difficult job, let alone being a mother to four kids. As the number of children increases, you find that managing your family becomes a balancing act. Taking care of the food while changing one’s diapers, helping the other with homework, and stressing out about the rest because you really don’t know where they are.
It is a tough gig for anyone, but it is not impossible if you prioritize and stay ahead of schedule. Allow me to help give you some parenting advice if you, too, have four kids or plan on doing so.
Allow them to help you.
Providing your children a chance to be free from a young age can help them learn about responsibility while helping you get more free time, and they start helping.
For me, this came naturally as we are a big family, and I cannot do everything my kids ask of me. They had to understand that for anything to work in our household, everyone had to pull their own weight. This is an important step because no matter how “super” you are as a mom, your physical and mental health will get to you if you don’t relax. Having responsible kids will help you get some free time to do just that.
The older ones can help a lot more.
In a family of four, the older kids tend to take up the responsibility of the young ones. It sorts of becomes second nature for them to take care of the younger ones, especially if the moms allow them. My older one is very protective of his younger siblings, especially the youngest sister. It is a beautiful thing to see and makes me proud of my older ones.
If all your kids are very young, you can always invite some elder cousins or older neighbor kids to play with them. This can help you take some time off and allow your kids to learn a thing or two from someone much closer to their age group.
Believe in them.
I know it’s hard to let go of your child. It is stressful to allow them to do anything on their own because you fear something wrong will happen to them. However, this is exactly what you have to do if you want them to learn. Allow them to try and fail. Let them be adventurous and challenging so that they may learn some very valuable lessons.
I have had a hard time doing this myself, but reflecting on my own childhood helped me see how I learned many things by trial and error. Let them fall from the bicycle, climb that tree in your backyard, and even jump on the sofa so that they may learn why it’s harmful
Don’t stress about your career.
This is advice for parents to be and all those who are already raising a family. Don’t think that having kids has ruined your career, rather understand that this is a wonderful time in your life and that you can always restart your career once your kids are a little older.
I have had the same thoughts as well. I wanted to have a career along with raising my four kids, and so I started this blog. If you have that itch to get back out and start earning some dough yourself, then seek out part-time, work from home opportunities. Just don’t get bogged down by this thought as it can negatively affect your full-time mom job.
Involve the father.
Ideally, your significant other would have been the perfect man and would help you out with every chore. However, that is not often true, and you have to let them know when you need their help. My husband mostly helps with the laundry and cleaning up, but sometimes I have to tell him to do so.
It is not an issue when he doesn’t help out. I don’t throw a tantrum or get upset. I understand that he works and gets tired just like any other human being, so it’s okay if he skips on some partner duty. Make sure you have divided the responsibilities according to priority, and include any contingencies if someone doesn’t complete their task. This will help you keep a cool head when your partner starts acting lazy.
Don’t lose sleep.
This is the best parenting advice I can give you. Please, don’t skip on your sleeping time. Sleeping is, directly and indirectly, related to almost everything in your life. Your ability to think, function, and, most importantly, take care of your kids is dangerously affected if you don’t sleep adequately.
Don’t get me wrong, and sometimes life can become so arduous that you don’t want even to make the effort of going to bed. However, that is not the way to think because your sleep is too important. If you are unable to sleep for some reason, seek professional help. Just think about it, if you had a medical condition, you would stop everything and see a doctor. If you are not sleeping enough, don’t just carry on for the sake of your kids, take a break, and lie down. It is better for you and your family.
Take a step back and reflect.
Your children are a great blessing for you. They love you, anger you, make you proud and do so many other things that help you learn and grow as a parent and as a human being. However, you have to be aware of the fact that these kids will grow up sooner than you think.
Therefore, I would highly recommend that you always take time out from your busy life to think about how far you have come with your kids. You should think about all the wonderful things you have done with your kids and how they have made your life better amid the hassle of life. Also, remember to express your love whenever you can. They will embrace it when they’re young, but as they get older, the ‘Ewws…’ will only get louder.
Regardless of everything I’ve talked about here, remember that your experience can differ from mine and that some of these might not work for you. There is no such thing as excellent parenting advice, and it is a process that all parents have to live through to understand. In any case, I hope that my advice can help ease some of your parenting troubles and make your lives better for it.
Erin Keller is the mother of three boys aged 1four, 1three, 11, and 1 girl aged four. She currently resides in fairfield county moms blog but was brought up in Cincinnati, Ohio, where she also completed her B.A. in Business Economics in 200three. Erin has been very involved with her kids, trying to balance work and life since 2011. Her experience with her kids provided her exciting content for her blog. The blog is Erin’s passion and an ongoing effort of a mom with four kids.