What happens inside you when you go through one defeat after another?
When there is an unbridgeable gap between what you want and what you
get and your goal remains a vague mirage?
Under these circumstances, an internal state tends to emerge, which you
most likely already know: frustration.
What is frustration?
Frustration is a word that derives from the Latin “frustratio” that is
disappointment, a feeling of acting in vain without being able to satisfy one’s need.
Frustration is an unpleasant emotion and because of its unpleasantness
people try to avoid it.
It is a state of defeat and failure that arises in the face of difficulties felt as
Unlike anger, it is not a disruptive emotion but much more silent, lasting and subtle. At first you may not even notice that you try it, but only feel a small resistance, a slight internal malaise.
This resistance typically arises from the fact that you feel that you do not
have full control of the situation.
Where does frustration come from?
Frustration occurs whenever the result of your actions is not in line with the efforts you make. When you think your actions produce less results than they should.
It is a condition that occurs when an action, an impulse or a goal is sent to
the air by an internal or external force.
You’re driving to work and you’re on time. Suddenly, the traffic stops. Tick,
tick, the minutes pass and the cars advance at the speed of an earthworm.
Finally the traffic starts again but just when you start to see the destination
in the distance, the traffic stops again.
Now you’re really late. The perception of lost time, in particular, is a big
source of frustration.
This is an example of frustration caused by external factors. Your goal,
getting to work on time has been blocked by outside forces.
What makes this situation so frustrating is that the enemy in this case is
completely out of your control.
You have a family and you work hard to support it. You would like to give her the best and this sometimes means stopping at work even on weekends.
One of these weekends, however, there is also your son’s championship
This is an example of an internal factor that causes frustration. This occurs
when a person has multiple goals that compete with each other and
interfere with each other.
In this case, you would like to give your family a good life but at the same
time you would like to enjoy time with your family now.
It is the sensation caused by having two contradictory ideas at the same
These sensations can also be caused by having a belief but acting in a
contradictory way with respect to it.
Eg. You would like to lose weight 5 kg but every time you give up in an
ignoble way in front of mascarpone.
Frustration drains energy.
Human beings use energy to carry out their activities. Physical, mental,emotional and spiritual energies.
The frustration and problems it creates absorb incredible amounts of energy.
Why do problems that cause frustration consume more energy than normal tasks? The answer is quite simple.
Since your actions don’t produce the results you would expect, your brain
naturally consumes mental energy to compensate.
A boost for change
Frustration can also be positive in the right dose and lead to changes.
Anthony Robbins said “I have come to believe that all my past, the failure
and frustration I have experienced have actually been indispensable for me to reach my new level of life”.
A lot of frustration is often needed to shake us up and decide to do
People who have not achieved success in ther life, sentimental or any other field have almost always encountered major frustrations along their way.
So frustration can be a big obstacle but also a great opportunity. It can kill
your dreams or push you to make them come true. This depends on you
and the use you will make of it.
How to overcome frustration
Another strategy for dealing with frustrations is to play down. Humor helps to relax and provides a unique perspective that helps open the doors to
opportunities that you never thought existed.
Ask yourself: what’s funny about this situation? What are the ways in which a comedian would play down this event? How would a clown make me laugh at this? How would all these things change my perspective on the
Play with different ways you could see the situation. This will help you to
stimulate your imagination and maybe even give you a perspective that will help you hang out with success from problems that plague you.
Obstacle or opportunity?
Observing a problem from different angles is a crucial aspect of putting your mind in a state in which it can solve it. For example, you can see frustrations both as something that hinders your progress and as an opportunity for change that will give you more benefits in the long run.
Guess which of the two perspectives will be most useful to you?
To find these opportunities it is often sufficient to ask yourself some specific questions, such as:
- What is the lesson behind these difficulties?
- What can I do specifically to improve the situation?
If solutions or ideas for improvement emerge from these questions, act immediately to put them into practice.
Frustration can be a source of suffering, causing you to get bitter blood and literally block you in any of your projects.
When you experience a state of frustration, the options available to you seem limited and you may be unable to see a way out.
But frustration can also be something else. It can be a challenge and a
springboard to make important positive changes.
Now the choice is yours. When you are faced with a difficult situation, you
can let yourself be a victim of it or you can accept the challenge that life
offers to you.